Jokes.

A place for some light-hearted chat.
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OldSchool
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Re: Jokes.

Post by OldSchool »

Did you know that on the Canary Islands there's not one Canary.

On the Virgin Islands it's the same....no Canary!

OldSchool
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Re: Jokes.

Post by OldSchool »

Ada: "Hello Cissie, how's life treating you?"
Cissie: "Not so good at the moment Ada, my Bert has passed away"
Ada: "I'm so sorry to hear that Cissie, what happened?"
Cissie: "He only went up the garden to cut a cabbage and dropped down dead"
Ada: "Oh Cissie, whatever did you do?"
Cissie: "We had to open a tin of peas"

OldSchool
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Re: Jokes.

Post by OldSchool »

I'm currently reading a horror story in Braille,

Something bad is about to happen....I can feel it!!!!!!!!!!

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Re: Jokes.

Post by OldSchool »

One of my old work mate's wife is blind.
He bought her a new cheese grater as he broke the old one.
Apparently she said it was the most blood thirsty stories she had ever read.

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Re: Jokes.

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For his birthday, little Joseph asked for a 10-speed bicycle.

His father said 'Son, we'd give you one but the mortgage on this house is £280,000 and your mother just lost her job. There's no way we can afford it.'

The next day the father saw little Joseph heading out the front door with a suitcase. So he asked 'Son, where are you going?'

Little Joseph told him; 'I was walking past your room last night and heard you telling mum you were pulling out. Then I heard her tell you to wait because she was coming too..

And I'll be damned if I'm staying here by myself with a £280,000 mortgage and no bloody bike!

OldSchool
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Re: Jokes.

Post by OldSchool »

Cowboy: “Give me 3 packets of condoms, please.”

Lady Cashier: “Do you need a paper bag with that, sir?”

Cowboy: “Nah… She’s purty good lookin’…..”

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Re: Jokes.

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Little boy gets home from school and says "Dad, I've got a part in the school
play as a man who's been married for 25 years."

His Dad replies "Never mind Son. Maybe next time you'll get a speaking part next time!!

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Re: Jokes.

Post by OldSchool »

Day 210 without Sex!
So I went jogging it Flip Flops.
That sound brought back memories ;)

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Nifty
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Re: Jokes.

Post by Nifty »

OldSchool wrote:
Fri Jun 07, 2019 10:15 am
For his birthday, little Joseph asked for a 10-speed bicycle.

His father said 'Son, we'd give you one but the mortgage on this house is £280,000 and your mother just lost her job. There's no way we can afford it.'

The next day the father saw little Joseph heading out the front door with a suitcase. So he asked 'Son, where are you going?'

Little Joseph told him; 'I was walking past your room last night and heard you telling mum you were pulling out. Then I heard her tell you to wait because she was coming too..

And I'll be damned if I'm staying here by myself with a £280,000 mortgage and no bloody bike!
Very incesting if it was the other way around.

https://www.mamamia.com.au/genetic-sexual-attraction-2/

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Re: Jokes.

Post by OldSchool »

:? Exactly what medication are you on Nifty, I couldn't work it out when on TF/FE and I still have not got a tube of glue :shock:

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