Jokes.

A place for some light-hearted chat.
Post Reply
Lemorvan
Posts: 1440
Joined: Sat Mar 03, 2018 2:27 am
Has thanked: 144 times
Been thanked: 418 times

Re: Jokes.

Post by Lemorvan »

Ally wrote:
Mon Apr 01, 2019 9:36 am
Well done L. An inoffensive joke... Cue the closet Carpenters fan.
Inoffensive to you perhaps but I'm sure if I posted that on "God botherers in France" website I'd be inundated with death threats. Now I think about it if he really was a carpenter he can't have been very good, I mean how many carpenters make the mistake of hammering a nail in their hand into a piece of wood? Basic error surely.

Lemorvan
Posts: 1440
Joined: Sat Mar 03, 2018 2:27 am
Has thanked: 144 times
Been thanked: 418 times

Re: Jokes.

Post by Lemorvan »

After the Storm wrote:
Mon Apr 01, 2019 9:51 am
And it made me chickle, it was nice to just have something simple to laugh at today :good: and not being unsure whether to laugh or cry at something else going on in the RW.
Chickle? Is that because Easter is on its way?

After the Storm

Re: Jokes.

Post by After the Storm »

:lol: flippin phone. I googled chickle and that didn't sound too nice so I'd rather chuckle.

Lemorvan
Posts: 1440
Joined: Sat Mar 03, 2018 2:27 am
Has thanked: 144 times
Been thanked: 418 times

Re: Jokes.

Post by Lemorvan »

ajm wrote:
Mon Apr 01, 2019 9:55 am
Not wishing to spoil the joke but I think you will find that it was Joseph who was the carpenter - perhaps Jesus was carpenter junior
Having a brief pause from painting found this for you ajm.
https://carm.org/what-was-jesus-occupation

From the site, “it seems likely that Jesus lived much of His adult life working in carpentry just as His earthly father, Joseph, had apparently done.”

Oh well back to the real world

curtis
Posts: 1891
Joined: Thu Mar 01, 2018 11:04 pm
Location: St Jean d'Angély 17
Has thanked: 94 times
Been thanked: 468 times

Re: Jokes.

Post by curtis »

Les trois petits cochons, Nif-Nif, Naf-Naf et Nouf-Nouf, jouent, chantent..
lorsque la porte s'ouvre brusquement !!.
Un loup égaré entre...!
Les trois petits cochons restent figés, apeurés, terrorisés.
Le loup dit : « Salâm Aleykoum ! »
Les trois petits cochons

« Oh putain, le bol, c'est un loup musulman! »
Drive fast, attract the Police. Drive faster, attract sponsors.

Mike

Re: Jokes.

Post by Mike »

While stitching a cut on the hand of a 75 year old farmer, whose hand was caught in the squeeze gate while working cattle, the doctor struck up a conversation with the old man.

Eventually the topic got around to politicians and their role as our leaders.

The old farmer said, " Well, as I see it, most politicians are 'Post Tortoises'.''

Not being familiar with the term, the doctor asked him what a 'post tortoise' was.

The old farmer said, " When you're driving down a country road and you come across a fence post with a tortoise balanced on top, that's a post tortoise."

The old farmer saw the puzzled look on the doctor's face so he continued to explain.

"You know he didn't get up there by himself, he doesn't belong up there, he doesn't know what to do while he's up there, he's elevated beyond his ability to function, and you just wonder what kind of dumb arse put him up there to begin with."

Best explanation of a politician I've ever heard.

Ally

Re: Jokes.

Post by Ally »

After the Storm wrote:
Mon Apr 01, 2019 10:19 am
:lol: flippin phone. I googled chickle and that didn't sound too nice so I'd rather chuckle.
I didn't know what Google was until I chickled it.

ajm
Posts: 1419
Joined: Tue Apr 03, 2018 10:23 am
Location: 49 paradis
Has thanked: 196 times
Been thanked: 326 times

Re: Jokes.

Post by ajm »

A young man walking down Harley Street sees a sign in a clinic's window advertisinig for a gynecological assistant. He goes in and asks what the job is about.The receptionist explains that it invovles helping the patient undress, washing them, shaving and then rubbing lubricating oïl in before the consultation. She goes on to say that the salary is £45000 and he would have to go to Aberdeen. Why there? he asks - she says 'cos that's the end of the queue for the interview. :shock:
If I had known I was going to live this long, I would have taken better care of myself. Mae West.

User avatar
Nifty
Posts: 5576
Joined: Fri Mar 02, 2018 12:55 am
Has thanked: 557 times
Been thanked: 559 times

Re: Jokes.

Post by Nifty »

Aberdeen. That is where the oil is.

Ally

Re: Jokes.

Post by Ally »

Nifty wrote:
Fri Apr 05, 2019 11:19 am
Aberdeen. That is where the oil is.
Go for it Nifty. You could look up old friends.

Post Reply