Jokes.

A place for some light-hearted chat.
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Nifty
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Re: Jokes.

Post by Nifty »

https://www.express.co.uk/news/uk/10337 ... c.outbrain

Outbrain says it all. As does the use of capital letters.
Last edited by Nifty on Sun Oct 21, 2018 8:35 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: Jokes.

Post by FrenchForumSurvivor »

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"I am a man of fixed and unbending principles, the first of which is to be flexible at all times." - Everett Dirksen

Ally

Re: Jokes.

Post by Ally »

I hope this is joke but nothing surprises me anymore
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mysty
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Re: Jokes.

Post by mysty »

A snowman was refused a Carte sejour the helpful woman at the prefecture said he had snow chance as he had no income and failed the nationality test plus they could not find an interpetur that could understand him.
This is the last snowman jole I have run out of material.
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Re: Jokes.

Post by mysty »

How come snowmen make the best ventriloquists

You never see there lips moving. :lol: :lol:

Getting better 8-)
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Ally

Re: Jokes.

Post by Ally »

Brexit. The gift that keeps on giving.
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Mike

Re: Jokes.

Post by Mike »

ONE IS NEVER TOO OLD TO LEARN SOMETHING NEW!"

Manure.. An interesting fact.

Manure : In the 16th and 17th centuries, everything for export had to be transported by ship. It was also before the invention of commercial fertilizers, so large shipments of manure were quite common.

It was shipped dry, because in dry form it weighed a lot less than when wet, but once water (at sea) hit it, not only did it become heavier, but the process of fermentation began again, of which a by-product is methane gas. As the stuff was stored below decks in bundles you can see what could (and did) happen. Methane began to build up below decks and the first time someone came below at night with a lantern, BOOOOM!

Several ships were destroyed in this manner before it was determined just what was happening

After that, the bundles of manure were always stamped with the instruction ' Stow high in transit ' on them, which meant for the sailors to stow it high enough off the lower decks so that any water that came into the hold would not touch this "volatile" cargo and start the production of methane.

Thus evolved the term ' S.H.I.T ' , (Stow High In Transit) ,............. "So it's really not a swear word"which has come down through the centuries and is in use to this very day.

You probably did not know the true history of this word.

Neither did I.

I always thought it was a golfing term.

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Re: Jokes.

Post by Nifty »

What, a load of gas?
Posh or bosh. ?
Another load of crap.
https://www.thoughtco.com/the-origin-of ... rd-4055710

Mike

Re: Jokes.

Post by Mike »

Well I thought it was amusing if not accurate, that's why I posted in the Jokes section of the Forum. :lol: :roll:

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Re: Jokes.

Post by curtis »

Un curé et un rabbin discutent :

Le curé dit au rabbin « j'ai un truc pour manger à l’œil… »

Le rabbin : « Super, tu fais comment ? »

Le curé : « je ne vais jamais au restaurant avant 21h30 - 22h00.
> > Je choisis toujours un restaurant assez grand où il y a plusieurs serveurs. je commande une entrée, un plat, un dessert et je prends mon temps pour le café, le cognac, un bon cigare et j'attends la fermeture ».

Comme je ne bouge pas, quand ils rangent toutes les tables et mettent les chaises dessus pour pouvoir fermer, le garçon vient pour me demander de payer. Je lui dis que j'ai déjà payé son collègue, qui est parti. Et personne ne met ma parole en doute vu ma profession !!! Simple, non ?

« Génial » fait le rabbin, « Et si on essayait demain ? »



« D'accord », répond le curé « Je m'occupe de la réservation. »

Le soir suivant, ils vont au restaurant, commandent de nombreux plats. A la fin de la soirée, le garçon arrive et, comme prévu, leur demande de payer.

Le curé lui répond : « Mais c'est déjà fait avec votre collègue qui est parti.......... »
> > Et le rabbin ajoute : « D'ailleurs, ça fait un bon moment qu'on attend la monnaie !!! »
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