Jokes.

A place for some light-hearted chat.
Post Reply
User avatar
mysty
Posts: 12950
Joined: Wed Feb 28, 2018 2:38 pm
Location: dep18 and 23
Has thanked: 1035 times
Been thanked: 1706 times

Re: Jokes.

Post by mysty »

A snow man walks into a café and the owner asks what he wants. He says make it an ice coffee my mate had a latte here and he never recovered. :lol:
mysty1 the new up to date user friendly version for an enhanced user experience

User avatar
mysty
Posts: 12950
Joined: Wed Feb 28, 2018 2:38 pm
Location: dep18 and 23
Has thanked: 1035 times
Been thanked: 1706 times

Re: Jokes.

Post by mysty »

Noisette wrote:
Mon Sep 24, 2018 10:55 pm
https://www.gardenerscorner.co.uk/attac ... jpg.99451/

Another busy night at Stonehenge as government staff work their fingers to the bone to put the clocks back by an hour....
that's as bad as my jokes the link does not work :lol:
mysty1 the new up to date user friendly version for an enhanced user experience

Ally

Re: Jokes.

Post by Ally »

How many dyslexics does it take to change a lightbulb.




V
V
V







Steven.

Ally

Re: Jokes.

Post by Ally »

What do we want?

Formula 1

When do we want it?

NNEEEEOOOOWWWWW!

User avatar
Andy72
Posts: 1550
Joined: Sat Mar 03, 2018 3:07 pm
Location: Charente
Has thanked: 249 times
Been thanked: 473 times

Re: Jokes.

Post by Andy72 »

This bloke walked up to me and said I’m going to smash you over the head with this guitar. I said is that a fret?
Don’t walk away in silence.

curtis
Posts: 1891
Joined: Thu Mar 01, 2018 11:04 pm
Location: St Jean d'Angély 17
Has thanked: 94 times
Been thanked: 468 times

Re: Jokes.

Post by curtis »

Un jeune de Quimper à la recherche d'un travail, voit cette annonce :
"Gynécologue cherche préparateur"
L'annonce ne précisant pas la nature du travail proposé, il téléphone et on lui dit :
-"Il s'agit de préparer la patiente avant qu'elle n'entre dans le cabinet du gynécologue. Il faut l'aider à retirer ses vêtements, sous-vêtements et lui faire enfiler la blouse d'examen. Ensuite il faut lui faire la toilette, la raser, et lui passer une mousse adoucissante sur le sexe, et masser .
Le salaire mensuel net est de 5 200 euros. Si vous êtes intéressé, vous devez remplir un dossier, puis aller à Concarneau avec votre dossier.
- A Concarneau ??? Mais j'ai vu cette annonce dans les offres d'emploi pour Quimper !

- C'est exact, mais la file d'attente commence à Concarneau !
Drive fast, attract the Police. Drive faster, attract sponsors.

User avatar
Nifty
Posts: 5576
Joined: Fri Mar 02, 2018 12:55 am
Has thanked: 557 times
Been thanked: 559 times

Re: Jokes.

Post by Nifty »

I went to the doctors and she told me I had to stop masturbating,
I asked why and she said because I'm trying to examine you.

Ally

Re: Jokes.

Post by Ally »

I bought a cottage in north Wales and found an old oil painting in the attic. I'm taking it to the antiques roadshow, I think it may be a Van Gogogoch.

User avatar
Andy72
Posts: 1550
Joined: Sat Mar 03, 2018 3:07 pm
Location: Charente
Has thanked: 249 times
Been thanked: 473 times

Re: Jokes.

Post by Andy72 »

Cowboy goes into a VW car dealers, walks up to the salesman and says Audi partner.
Don’t walk away in silence.

Ally

Re: Jokes.

Post by Ally »

The EU is set to abandon adjusting clocks by an hour twice yearly from next year.

The UK is to retaliate by winding clock back 50 years.

Post Reply