Jokes.

A place for some light-hearted chat.
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Ally

Re: Jokes.

Post by Ally »

Yorkshire guy goes to to the vet and says "Me cat's pawlly"
The vet says "Is it a Tom?"
The guys says "Naw, ah brought it wi' mi!"

OTBC
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Re: Jokes.

Post by OTBC »

New health food restaurant just opened in Glasgow.


"I Can't Believe It's Not Battered"

ICHABOD
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Re: Jokes.

Post by ICHABOD »

Couldn’t resist sharing this.
Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of tampons and proceeded to the checkout counter.
The pharmacist at the counter asked the older boy, 'Son, how old are you?'
'Eight', the boy replied.
The man continued, 'Do you know what these are used for?'
The boy replied, 'Not exactly, but they aren't for me. They're for him. He's my brother. He's four."
"Oh, really?" the pharmacist replied with a grin.
"Yes." the boy said. "We saw on TV that if you use these, you would be able to swim, play tennis and ride a bike. Right now, he can't do none of those." 😂

Ally

Re: Jokes.

Post by Ally »

Dr Swift was a sly old fox.
IMG_20180911_085453.jpg
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Nifty
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Re: Jokes.

Post by Nifty »

https://www.theguardian.com/politics/bl ... itics-live

Edit.

Here is another I have just had an e-mail rejected
I am trying to find a way around the problem

https://iihelp.iinet.net.au/Improving_W ... g_Channels

HTF am I supposed to find the time to delve into this garbage?

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Andy72
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Re: Jokes.

Post by Andy72 »

I saw an advert in the wanted section the other day asking for anyone selling an Ark. I thought to myself, I Noah guy who’s got one.
Don’t walk away in silence.

Lemorvan
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Re: Jokes.

Post by Lemorvan »

I pinched wife's breasts this morning and said "If we firm these up we can get rid of the bra" My wife grabbed my penis and said "If we firm this up we can get rid of the milkman"

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FrenchForumSurvivor
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Re: Jokes.

Post by FrenchForumSurvivor »

Pensioner resetting a password.

WINDOWS: Please enter your new password.

USER: cabbage

WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters.

USER: boiled cabbage

WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain 1 numerical character

USER: 1 boiled cabbage

WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot have blank spaces.

USER: 50damnboiledcabbages

WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain at least one upper case character.

USER: 50DAMNboiledcabbages

WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot use more than one upper case
Character consecutively.

USER: 50damnBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourAss!

WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot contain punctuation.

USER:
ReallyPissedOff50DamnBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourAssIfYouDontGiveMeAccessNow

WINDOWS: Sorry, that password is already in use.
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There's crap comes out of either end."
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Annabelle's Papa
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Re: Jokes.

Post by Annabelle's Papa »

:lol: :lol: :lol:
The truth is everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for. Bob Marley

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Andy72
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Re: Jokes.

Post by Andy72 »

I once worked for a company that produced diaries. I got the sack for taking a couple of days off.
Don’t walk away in silence.

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