Jokes.

A place for some light-hearted chat.
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jsks
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Re: Jokes.

Post by jsks »

My OH always asks for special things for the bath for her birthday.

So this year I'm getting her a toaster.

After the Storm

Re: Jokes.

Post by After the Storm »

jsks wrote:
Sat Mar 10, 2018 11:49 pm
My OH always asks for special things for the bath for her birthday.

So this year I'm getting her a toaster.
I’m starting to see a recurring theme with your posts :o ...




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Ally

Re: Jokes.

Post by Ally »

During WW1 my grandad collected "trophies of war" I suppose you could call them.One evening he spotted a German helmet with a big spike on top lying in the mud in no man's land. He decided he was having it after dark. Later on he crept out only to dicover it was still attached to a German officer who was buried up to his neck in the mud, still alive. The officer said he didn't care about the helmet but could my grandad get him out. Grandad dug down to the officers armpits using his bare hands and, after some time, tried to haul him out. But to no avail. He spent the next couple of hours digging down to the offcers waist. He tried again but nothing. He wouldn't budge. Grandad pointed out that it was getting light and he'd have to return to his lines, to which the officer responded "Would it be easier if I took my feet out the stirrups?"

My grandad eventually returned home from the war with one arm. We never heard the story behind that or found out who it belonged to.

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mysty
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Re: Jokes.

Post by mysty »

I saw a snowman with a shopping bag hitching a ride, I stopped and asked him where you going mate. He said he forgot some things from Iceland. :lol:
Yet another home made joke
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Ally

Re: Jokes.

Post by Ally »

Thanks for sharing it on the winternet.
I built a snowman in the middle of my pond. Snowman is an island.

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mysty
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Re: Jokes.

Post by mysty »

Your welcome its good to bounce jokes of fellow comedians and getting the encouragement to carry on :good:
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Nomoss

Re: Jokes.

Post by Nomoss »

Ally wrote:
Sun Mar 11, 2018 7:34 pm
Thanks for sharing it on the winternet.
I built a snowman in the middle of my pond. Snowman is an island.
Like your nose piercing :D

Ally

Re: Jokes.

Post by Ally »

Ken Dodd died.

Did he?

No, Doddy.

Ally

Re: Jokes.

Post by Ally »

Me: What's the wifi password?
Barman: You need to buy a drink first.
Me: Okay, I'll have a coke.
Barman: Is Pepsi okay?
Me: Ok. How much is that?
Barman: £3.
Me: There you go. So what's the wifi password?
Barman: You need to buy a drink first. No spaces, all lowercase.

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English tv

Post by Leo »

My wife said she would like to see the Jeremy Kyle show live, for her birthday ,

So, I got her sister pregnant ,

We’re all on next Tuesday!

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