Jokes.

A place for some light-hearted chat.
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Stompie
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Re: Jokes.

Post by Stompie »

DominicBest wrote:
Thu Feb 18, 2021 9:15 pm
Try it. Ask Alexa what she thinks of Siri, you will get a considered answer. Then ask Siri about Alexa.
Just did, they were very nice about each other!

curtis
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Re: Jokes.

Post by curtis »

Mohamed au Paradis...

Mohamed est au paradis et il déclare à Dieu
" Ji m'emmerde tote la jorni sur mon piti nuage,
ji voudri aller an enfer, la bas si toujours li fête."

­­­­­ " D'accord, je t'accorde une permission de 24 h
et ensuite, retour au Paradis.

Mohamed arrive en enfer et là il est accueilli
par de jolies hôtesses dénudées et toute la nuit
va z'y que je danse et en avant le whisky.

Au bout de 24 h, retour au Paradis.
Une semaine après, il s'adresse de nouveau Dieu :
" Ti mi donnes une pitite permission pour que ji retourne là-bas ? " ­­­

> " Non, si tu veux partir ce sera définitif, tu ne pourras plus revenir au Paradis." ­­­ ­­­­­­­­

" Ci d'accord, ji reste là-bas. »> ­­­ ­­­

Arrivé en enfer il est accueilli par des diables qui le piquent avec des fourches
et le précipitent dans les flammes.

Et lui de gueuler :

­­­­" Mi pourquoi la dernière fois, citi les gazelles et le Whisky ? "


Et le Diable de répondre :" Mohamed, il ne faut pas confondre tourisme et immigration."
Drive fast, attract the Police. Drive faster, attract sponsors.

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FrenchForumSurvivor
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Re: Jokes.

Post by FrenchForumSurvivor »

Heard a similar joke in Egypt when I visited for the first time, the punch line being, "Last time you were a tourist, now you live here".
"I am a man of fixed and unbending principles, the first of which is to be flexible at all times." - Everett Dirksen

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DominicBest
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Re: Jokes.

Post by DominicBest »

Stompie wrote:
Tue Feb 23, 2021 10:49 am
DominicBest wrote:
Thu Feb 18, 2021 9:15 pm
Try it. Ask Alexa what she thinks of Siri, you will get a considered answer. Then ask Siri about Alexa.
Just did, they were very nice about each other!
When a friend did it a couple of weeks ago Alexa pointed out that she had no opinion about other AI systems and Siri simply said she didn’t know who Alexa was.

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Bald Eagle
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Re: Jokes.

Post by Bald Eagle »

My wife finds it strange that our toddler is a huge Tom Jones fan
"Well, it's not unusual" I told her
“Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.”

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jsks
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Re: Jokes.

Post by jsks »

Chromosome aide-memoire:

XX - Female

XY - Male

YYY - Delilah

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AIIy
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Re: Jokes.

Post by AIIy »

Stand by for a woke backlash.
Being funny makes you more attractive.
Beauty fades but sarcasm lives forever.

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Re: Jokes.

Post by ICHABOD »

53,000 Scousers meet in Anfield for a 'Scousers Are Not Stupid' convention.
Steven Gerrard addresses the crowd.. 'We are all here today to prove to the world that Scousers are not stupid. Can I have a volunteer please?'
Wayne Rooney gingerly works his way through the crowd and steps up to the stage.
Gerrard asks him 'What is 15 plus 15?'
After 15 or 20 seconds Rooney says, ' Forty!'
Obviously everyone is a little disappointed. Then the Scousers start chanting 'Give him another chance! Give him another chance!'
Gerrard says, 'Well since we have a capacity crowd, world-wide press and global broadcast media here, I think we can give him another chance.'
So he asks, 'What is 5 plus 5?'
After nearly 30 seconds he eventually says, ' Twelve?'
Gerrard looks down and just lets out a dejected sigh.
Everyone is disheartened and Rooney starts crying.
But then the 53,000 Scousers begin to yell and wave their hands shouting, 'Give him another chance! Give him another chance!'
Gerrard, unsure whether he is now doing more harm than good eventually says, 'OK then, what is 2 plus 2?'
Silence hangs over the stadium.
Rooney closes his eyes, and after a whole minute eventually says, 'Four?'
Pandemonium breaks out throughout the stadium as the Scouse crowd stand to a man, wave their arms, stomp their feet and scream,
'Give him another chance! Give him another chance!

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mysty
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Re: Jokes.

Post by mysty »

I'm a careful mechanic. :lol:
mysty1 the new up to date user friendly version for an enhanced user experience

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AIIy
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Re: Jokes.

Post by AIIy »

Jeez! I've just accidentally added Matt Hancock to my friends list on Facebook and already I've won a Covid 19 contract worth millions.
Being funny makes you more attractive.
Beauty fades but sarcasm lives forever.

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