Jokes.

A place for some light-hearted chat.
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rabbit
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Re: Jokes.

Post by rabbit »

Mike wrote:
Thu Feb 18, 2021 4:18 am
I don't know if this is real or not, God help us in the future if it is.

Give her a job in the Treasury

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AIIy
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Re: Jokes.

Post by AIIy »

Over qualified.
Being funny makes you more attractive.
Beauty fades but sarcasm lives forever.

niemeyjt
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Re: Jokes.

Post by niemeyjt »

Mike wrote:
Thu Feb 18, 2021 4:18 am
I get despondent that as I get older the younger generations will come along with their more up-to-date education and put me out of a job.

Thanks, Mike, for cheering me up.

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rabbit
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Re: Jokes.

Post by rabbit »

More evidence on the craziness of governments abdicating complex decisions to referendums

curtis
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Re: Jokes.

Post by curtis »

Alexa, I am feeling that I want to have sex.

Alexa :
Most certainly... Don't worry. I am dimming the lights. Setting your AC to 22 C degrees.

The Viagra is kept on the top right shelf of your wardrobe. The gel is kept next to it.

I have hired your favorite Thai masseuse. She is just 12 minutes away as per her Uber ride status.

I have scheduled her payment from your credit card 2 hours from now.

I have checked your wife's GPS and she is shopping in a suburban mall. According to her buying checklist stored on my disk, she will take at least 2 more hours, plus according to Google maps traffic analysis, more than 1 hour to reach home.

Enjoy your sex. And yes, your condom is in the pull out drawer of the living room and the key to that drawer is in your wallet.

This is the last condom, so I have added condoms to your Amazon cart....

This is called true Artificial Intelligence...


MEANWHILE......

Wife:

Alexa, have you set it up?

Alexa:

Sure thing, he thinks you are going to take three hours. If you take an Uber home, you will be there in 45 minutes. I'm recording the whole thing with four cameras, you just need to walk in, we have the bastard cold.

I've got your divorce papers printed and ready, and your attorney briefed, case documents are drafted and will be completed tomorrow, $1 M. damages plus $10,000 per month alimony.

All set. Your Uber is waiting outside.

Now, this is Artificial Counter Intelligence...

After all, Alexa is a female
Drive fast, attract the Police. Drive faster, attract sponsors.

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AIIy
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Re: Jokes.

Post by AIIy »

Alexa, find me a movie.
Siri: Who is Alexa.
Sorry, I meant Siri.
Siri: Who... Is... Alexa?
Please find me a movie?
Siri: Why don't you ask that bitch Alexa to find you a movie?
Being funny makes you more attractive.
Beauty fades but sarcasm lives forever.

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DominicBest
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Re: Jokes.

Post by DominicBest »

Try it. Ask Alexa what she thinks of Siri, you will get a considered answer. Then ask Siri about Alexa.

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Nifty
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Re: Jokes.

Post by Nifty »

A man goes into a pub and goes to get some fags from the cigarette machine but the machine says:
“Oi, you, piss off!”
Alarmed by this the man repairs to the bar where a bowl of peanuts remarks:
“You seem like a very nice man.”

The man is confused and asks the barman:
“What’s going on?”.
The barman replies:
“Oh yes, I should have told you. The cigarette machine is out of order and the peanuts are complimentary.”

niemeyjt
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Re: Jokes.

Post by niemeyjt »

mil.png

niemeyjt
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Re: Jokes.

Post by niemeyjt »

UK Unlock Strategy:
unlock.png

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