Jokes.

A place for some light-hearted chat.
User avatar
Nifty
Posts: 6702
Joined: Fri Mar 02, 2018 12:55 am
Has thanked: 660 times
Been thanked: 686 times

Re: Jokes.

Post by Nifty »

niemeyjt wrote:
Mon Feb 08, 2021 9:34 am
Image

Not a joke but a sad fact.
Time flies when you are enjoying yourself.

My oh has a picture of us that was taken in a pun on the occasion that we met about twentyfive years ago.
I should have known then that the way that she had her hand on my lapel there would be trouble to come.

User avatar
FrenchForumSurvivor
Posts: 11090
Joined: Sat Apr 21, 2018 6:24 pm
Location: Finistère (29)
Has thanked: 2604 times
Been thanked: 2624 times

Re: Jokes.

Post by FrenchForumSurvivor »

Nifty wrote:
Mon Feb 08, 2021 3:02 pm
My oh has a picture of us that was taken in a pun on the occasion that we met about twentyfive years ago.
I should have known then that the way that she had her hand on my lapel there would be trouble to come.
Never go into a pun with with an unknown lady, she'll play on your words.
"I am a man of fixed and unbending principles, the first of which is to be flexible at all times." - Everett Dirksen

User avatar
AIIy
Posts: 2831
Joined: Sat Nov 14, 2020 5:48 pm
Location: 87
Has thanked: 792 times
Been thanked: 1014 times

Re: Jokes.

Post by AIIy »

FrenchForumSurvivor wrote:
Mon Feb 08, 2021 5:15 pm
Nifty wrote:
Mon Feb 08, 2021 3:02 pm
My oh has a picture of us that was taken in a pun on the occasion that we met about twentyfive years ago.
I should have known then that the way that she had her hand on my lapel there would be trouble to come.
Never go into a pun with with an unknown lady, she'll play on your words.
It happened to me once. Thinking back, I don't know what a metaphor.
Being funny makes you more attractive.
Beauty fades but sarcasm lives forever.

User avatar
FrenchForumSurvivor
Posts: 11090
Joined: Sat Apr 21, 2018 6:24 pm
Location: Finistère (29)
Has thanked: 2604 times
Been thanked: 2624 times

Re: Jokes.

Post by FrenchForumSurvivor »

Funny that, a simile thing happened to me.
"I am a man of fixed and unbending principles, the first of which is to be flexible at all times." - Everett Dirksen

niemeyjt
Posts: 4568
Joined: Fri Apr 13, 2018 6:10 pm
Location: Lausanne and Suffolk
Has thanked: 121 times
Been thanked: 1381 times

Re: Jokes.

Post by niemeyjt »

mask.jpg

User avatar
Biggles
Posts: 2053
Joined: Fri Mar 09, 2018 8:18 pm
Location: Nr Confolens, 16
Has thanked: 314 times
Been thanked: 133 times

Re: Jokes.

Post by Biggles »

It's an old joke but it made me laugh:
A man walks into a bar with a small dog under his arm and sits down at the counter, placing the dog on the stool next to him. The bartender says, "Sorry, pal. No dogs allowed." The man says, "But this is a special dog – he talks!" "Yeah, right," says the bartender. "No, wait," says the man. "I'll prove it." He turns to the dog and asks, "What's on top of a house?" "Roof!" says the dog. "Listen, pal..." says the bartender. "Wait," says the man. He turns to the dog again and asks, “what does sandpaper feel like?” "Ruff!" exclaims the dog. "Quit wasting my time and get out of here," says the bartender. "One more chance," pleads the man. Turning to the dog again, he asks, "Who was the greatest baseball player that ever lived?" "Ruth!" barked the dog. "Okay, that's it!" says the bartender, and physically throws both man and dog out the door. Turning to the man, the dogs shrugs and says, "Maybe I should have said DiMaggio?"

Pinched from Treehugger.
"Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see." — Mark Twain

User avatar
AIIy
Posts: 2831
Joined: Sat Nov 14, 2020 5:48 pm
Location: 87
Has thanked: 792 times
Been thanked: 1014 times

Re: Jokes.

Post by AIIy »

Historians are investigating claims that Anne Boleyn was eaten by someone after she died.
Evidence suggests Henry Tudor.
Being funny makes you more attractive.
Beauty fades but sarcasm lives forever.

User avatar
Annabelle's Papa
Posts: 1133
Joined: Fri Mar 02, 2018 11:40 am
Location: Worcestershire and Brittany (22)
Has thanked: 227 times
Been thanked: 256 times

Re: Jokes.

Post by Annabelle's Papa »

Two wives go out on a girly night, a little tipsy they tottered through the graveyard on their way home, both were desperate for a wee, one went behind a gravestone and came back saying that she had used her knickers to dab herself and discarded them, the friend said that was good thinking because she had wiped herself on a wreath on a gravestone.
The next day the two husbands were walking to work and the one said- I am worried my wife cheated on me last night as she came home with no knickers on, that's nothing says the other one, my wife had a card stuck to her knickers saying best wishes from all the lads at the station !
The truth is everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for. Bob Marley

User avatar
mysty
Posts: 15247
Joined: Wed Feb 28, 2018 2:38 pm
Location: dep18 and 23
Has thanked: 1232 times
Been thanked: 2139 times

Re: Jokes.

Post by mysty »

How come you don't get any Irishman Scotsman and Englishman in a pub jokes anymore.
They are all shut :lol:
mysty1 the new up to date user friendly version for an enhanced user experience

niemeyjt
Posts: 4568
Joined: Fri Apr 13, 2018 6:10 pm
Location: Lausanne and Suffolk
Has thanked: 121 times
Been thanked: 1381 times

Re: Jokes.

Post by niemeyjt »

Just to remind everyone that the diarrhea awareness week starts on Monday. Runs until Friday.

Post Reply