Jokes.

A place for some light-hearted chat.
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DominicBest
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Re: Jokes.

Post by DominicBest »

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Nifty
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Re: Jokes.

Post by Nifty »

I don’t get it!

Three little old nuns are attending a church service in Rome when, in a freak accident,
a giant crucifix falls from the old plaster wall and kills them.

When they arrive at the Pearly Gates Saint Peter says,
"I'm SO sorry, Sisters, that was a freak accident and wasn't supposed to happen.

"Unfortunately, your Earthy bodies were too horribly mangled for us to just send your souls back,
but we *do* have a protocol for cases like yours.

"What we do is, we let you choose a person on Earth. You get to inhabit their body,
but unfortunately it's only for six months.

"Okay, Sister Giuseppina, you first. Who would you like to return as?"

"Sophia Loren," says Sister Giuseppina.

Saint Peter types into his workstation for a few seconds and Sister Giuseppina disappears in a puff of smoke. "Okay, Sister Lucrezia, you're next. Who would you like to be?"

"Gina Lollobrigida," answers Sister Lucrezia.
Again, Saint Peter types on his keyboard, and is Sister Lucrezia disappears in a puff of smoke.

"Sister Benedetta. Who would you like to return as?"

"Sarah Pippolini," she says.

Saint Peter types for a few seconds, frowns, and types some more.
"I'm sorry, Sister, I'm not getting a match for anyone with that name."

"Sarah Pippolini, Sarah Pippolini!" the little old nun cries imploringly,
shaking a newspaper under Saint Peter's nose.

Saint Peter takes the newspaper and reads it.

"No, you see, Sister, "Saint Peter explains.
"This says, the *Sahara Pipeline* was laid by twelve thousand men in six months."

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AIIy
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Re: Jokes.

Post by AIIy »

How do you comfort a pedantic grammar fanatic?

Their, they're, there.
Being funny makes you more attractive.
Beauty fades but sarcasm lives forever.

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Re: Jokes.

Post by AIIy »

I new ewe wood like that FFS.
Being funny makes you more attractive.
Beauty fades but sarcasm lives forever.

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Re: Jokes.

Post by Polarengineer »

Back when restaurants were open, my table guest leaped up and grabbed the women on the next table and began the Heimlich maneuver on her. " put me down, she said, I was speaking Dutch".
I have experienced a mid winter whiteout on the high tundra between Alta and Skaidi, I tell you, it's no big deal there is nothing to see, anyway, I must go back there as I think I left the northern lights on.

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Re: Jokes.

Post by rabbit »

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niemeyjt
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Re: Jokes.

Post by niemeyjt »

A Liverpool woman has been fined £15,000 for holding an illegal Botox party at her house. None of her clients looked surprised.

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Re: Jokes.

Post by niemeyjt »

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AIIy
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Re: Jokes.

Post by AIIy »

I had a bit of a barney with Sally this morning. She asked me which was my favourite child. I realise now she meant which one of ours.
Being funny makes you more attractive.
Beauty fades but sarcasm lives forever.

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Re: Jokes.

Post by niemeyjt »

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