Jokes.

A place for some light-hearted chat.
User avatar
rabbit
Posts: 2470
Joined: Sat Mar 03, 2018 10:04 am
Location: Morbihan
Has thanked: 1376 times
Been thanked: 1070 times

Re: Jokes.

Post by rabbit »

Two beagles escape from a research lab. One says to the other “this is fine but what are we going to do for fags?”

User avatar
Bald Eagle
Posts: 1071
Joined: Fri Feb 28, 2020 11:09 am
Location: Selby, North Yorkshire
Has thanked: 651 times
Been thanked: 154 times

Re: Jokes.

Post by Bald Eagle »

Many thanks to all the recent posters. This page and the previous one. Lifted my spirits no end in a very grim (weatherwise) Yorkshire. :good:
“Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.”

User avatar
AIIy
Posts: 2831
Joined: Sat Nov 14, 2020 5:48 pm
Location: 87
Has thanked: 792 times
Been thanked: 1014 times

Re: Jokes.

Post by AIIy »

I remember when I could go in to a shop with 50p and come out with 2 bags of crisps, a bar of chocolate, a can of coke and a magazine. Nowadays? CCTV everywhere.
Being funny makes you more attractive.
Beauty fades but sarcasm lives forever.

User avatar
AIIy
Posts: 2831
Joined: Sat Nov 14, 2020 5:48 pm
Location: 87
Has thanked: 792 times
Been thanked: 1014 times

Re: Jokes.

Post by AIIy »

Have faith in the Pfizer vaccine. Don't forget, they also developed and manufacture Viagra.
If they can raise the dead, they can save the living.
Being funny makes you more attractive.
Beauty fades but sarcasm lives forever.

User avatar
AIIy
Posts: 2831
Joined: Sat Nov 14, 2020 5:48 pm
Location: 87
Has thanked: 792 times
Been thanked: 1014 times

Re: Jokes.

Post by AIIy »

I saw a guy in the supermarket stuffing his trolley with tacos, tortillas, empanadas, nachos, etc. I thought, "Oh no, hispanic buying.
Being funny makes you more attractive.
Beauty fades but sarcasm lives forever.

User avatar
AIIy
Posts: 2831
Joined: Sat Nov 14, 2020 5:48 pm
Location: 87
Has thanked: 792 times
Been thanked: 1014 times

Re: Jokes.

Post by AIIy »

I was on a noodie beach but to preserve my dignity I put my hat over my doodah. A woman came up to me and said, "If you were any kind of a gentleman, you'd lift your hat."
I said, "If you weren't so ugly it would lift itself."
Being funny makes you more attractive.
Beauty fades but sarcasm lives forever.

User avatar
Nifty
Posts: 6702
Joined: Fri Mar 02, 2018 12:55 am
Has thanked: 660 times
Been thanked: 686 times

Re: Jokes.

Post by Nifty »

AIIy wrote:
Wed Jan 06, 2021 6:06 pm
I remember when I could go in to a shop with 50p and come out with 2 bags of crisps, a bar of chocolate, a can of coke and a magazine. Nowadays? CCTV everywhere.
I can remember a time when I could go in to a shop with ten bob, buy the above and walk out with 6/4d change.
That is not supposed to be funny. It is true except that coke was not marketed in tins then.
Thirty-odd years before that, coke was called Coca Cola.
I don’t know how much a wrap would have cost then.
Remember, that there is nothing like the real thing.

niemeyjt
Posts: 4568
Joined: Fri Apr 13, 2018 6:10 pm
Location: Lausanne and Suffolk
Has thanked: 121 times
Been thanked: 1381 times

Re: Jokes.

Post by niemeyjt »

Didn't the "real thing" contain cocaine?

User avatar
Aardvark
Posts: 5547
Joined: Fri Mar 02, 2018 4:08 pm
Location: 22
Has thanked: 4483 times
Been thanked: 1522 times

Re: Jokes.

Post by Aardvark »

niemeyjt wrote:
Thu Jan 07, 2021 9:38 am
Didn't the "real thing" contain cocaine?
It might possibly have contained an extact of the coca plant. Yum yum.
Conservative government: A disease without a cure

landmannnn
Posts: 663
Joined: Fri Nov 01, 2019 2:48 pm
Has thanked: 100 times
Been thanked: 162 times

Re: Jokes.

Post by landmannnn »

niemeyjt wrote:
Thu Jan 07, 2021 9:38 am
Didn't the "real thing" contain cocaine?
Pre 1900, yes. About the same time that the British Empire had to stop the opium trade.

Post Reply