Jokes.

A place for some light-hearted chat.
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ajm
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Re: Jokes.

Post by ajm »

Bald Eagle wrote:
Sun Nov 08, 2020 12:36 am
Macron becoming a Dad. :lol:
More likely than Trump telling the truth :lol:
"If I had known I was going to live this long, I would have taken better care of myself."Mae West.

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Aardvark
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Re: Jokes.

Post by Aardvark »

mysty wrote:
Sat Nov 07, 2020 6:08 pm
Boris getting a great US trade deal. :lol:
That was never going to happen. Boris wouldn't know a great trade deal if it bit him on the arse.
I have a problem with smartphones. I need one hand to hold the phone, another to peck/push/and swipe, and another to hold the magnifying glass.

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Re: Jokes.

Post by Polarengineer »

My excuses Mysty

A snowman walked into a brexit negotiation meeting to be met with a deathly silence. "Something I said." Asked the snowman, "No" was the reply, " It has been like this for weeks now"
I have experienced a mid winter whiteout on the high tundra between Alta and Skaidi, I tell you, it's no big deal there is nothing to see, anyway, I must go back there as I think I left the northern lights on.

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mysty
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Re: Jokes.

Post by mysty »

A snowman was stopped by the Gendarme trying to leave intermarche. :shock:
He said he was allowed to pick his nose it's not an offence. :lol:

That might be too deep for some of you. ;)
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rabbit
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Re: Jokes.

Post by rabbit »

In an obituary for Des O'Connor talking about Eric Morecombe making jokes at his expense

The joshing continued even after Morecambe had a heart attack. O’Connor received the news as he was going on stage and asked the audience to pray for him. When Morecambe recovered, he thanked O’Connor and told him: “Those six or seven people made all the difference.”

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Re: Jokes.

Post by niemeyjt »

mysty wrote:
Mon Nov 16, 2020 8:08 am
A snowman was stopped by the Gendarme trying to leave intermarche. :shock:
He said he was allowed to pick his nose it's not an offence. :lol:

That might be too deep for some of you. ;)
I guess he was holding a bag of carrots

AIIy

Re: Jokes.

Post by AIIy »

Boris Johnson met a snowman who later tested positive for Covid 19. He's now in iceolation.

AIIy

Re: Jokes.

Post by AIIy »

What a morning. A young lassie went into labour this morning right in front of me. I'll be honest, I panicked and dialled 15 and tried to explain what was happening. The woman who answered did her best to speak English, bless her.
"Is she dilated?", she asked.
"Over the bloody moon!" I said.

AIIy

Re: Jokes.

Post by AIIy »

Two Tunnocks caramel logs were coming through arrivals at Glasgow Airport. One turns to the other and asks, "How long have you been a wafer?"

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mysty
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Re: Jokes.

Post by mysty »

niemeyjt wrote:
Mon Nov 16, 2020 9:25 am
mysty wrote:
Mon Nov 16, 2020 8:08 am
A snowman was stopped by the Gendarme trying to leave intermarche. :shock:
He said he was allowed to pick his nose it's not an offence. :lol:

That might be too deep for some of you. ;)
I guess he was holding a bag of carrots
Your good. ;)
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