Jokes.

A place for some light-hearted chat.
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Bald Eagle
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Re: Jokes.

Post by Bald Eagle »

Fabulous joke curtis! :lol:
“Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.”

Ally

Re: Jokes.

Post by Ally »

I was watching Sally chop up onions tonight and I started crying. Of all the hens, onions was my favourite.

Ally

Re: Jokes.

Post by Ally »

Folks! It's a long shot but this may be of interest to someone. A friend of mine has 2 entry tickets for the Red Lion beer garden when the pubs reopen on the 6th of July. He paid £50 each including a 3 course meal but he didn't realise when he bought them that it was going to be on the same day as his wedding! If you are interested, he is looking for someone to take his place.

It's in the Ayr registry office at 4pm. The bride's name is Nicola -- she's 5'4", about 8 stone, quite pretty, has her own income and is a really good cook. PM for more details.

niemeyjt
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Re: Jokes.

Post by niemeyjt »

A priest and a pilot were waiting in line at the Pearly Gates for St Peter.

St Peter had a brief chat with the pilot then gave him a gold halo and he entered heaven. Then St Peter moved onto the priest and gave him a wooden halo.

"Why does he get a get a gold halo whilst I only get a wooden one?" asked the priest.

"It's easy." St Peter replied "We reward by results. When you preached everyone fell asleep whereas when he flew everyone prayed."

Ally

Re: Jokes.

Post by Ally »

For me, the most fascinating thing about Boris Johnson is, he can get sex and I cannae. That's not a cry for help. It's a statement of fact, so no PMs please.

Ally

Re: Jokes.

Post by Ally »

What do call a Scotsman who is nearly home?
Hamish.

OTBC
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Re: Jokes.

Post by OTBC »

What's small and brown and currently making squeaking noises?

Prince Andrew's arsehole.

OTBC
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Re: Jokes.

Post by OTBC »

An FBI spokesman has just read out a press announcement:


"I am shocked to report that shortly after her arrest Ghislaine Maxwell, the lady who knew where all the Epstein skeletons were buried, has taken her own life. . . . . . .

My apologies it seems I've jumped the gun, that's tomorrow's press release!"

Ally

Re: Jokes.

Post by Ally »

I searched Sally's browser history to get some ideas for her birthday present. I think she'll be over the moon with this.
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mysty
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Re: Jokes.

Post by mysty »

Oh the Grand old Duke of York,

He said he couldn’t sweat,

But now Ghis is with the FBI

He’ll be soaking f--king wet...
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