Jokes.

A place for some light-hearted chat.
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Stompie
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Re: Jokes.

Post by Stompie »

mysty wrote:
Fri Jun 12, 2020 9:22 pm
ajm wrote:
Fri Jun 12, 2020 8:44 pm
mysty wrote:
Fri Jun 12, 2020 7:56 pm
So the snowman asked my surgeon if I could administer my own anesthetic.
He said, sure, knock yourself out. ;)
??
Its a joke, anesthetic, knock yourself out. It's no that hard to understand. :P
I thought that was one of the better ones...

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Biggles
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Re: Jokes.

Post by Biggles »

You need to see a shrink, Stompie - nothing really serious ;)
"Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see." — Mark Twain

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mysty
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Re: Jokes.

Post by mysty »

Biggles wrote:
Fri Jun 12, 2020 11:45 pm
You need to see a shrink, Stompie - nothing really serious ;)
:lol: :lol:
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Monsieur3seas
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Re: Jokes.

Post by Monsieur3seas »

ajm
I did not get it either....

Ally

Re: Jokes.

Post by Ally »

What did Mysty do when they berated his snowman jokes?
He gave them a frosty stare because for him it was a thaw point.

Ally

Re: Jokes.

Post by Ally »

Sally said "If you're bored why don't you make a bird table?"
So I did and she kicked off because I put her in fifth place.

Ally

Re: Jokes.

Post by Ally »

The man who invented autocorrect has died.
May he roast tinned peas.

Ally

Re: Jokes.

Post by Ally »

I phoned B&Q to ask how big the queue was. Same size as the B says some smart asre.

Elizabeth
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Re: Jokes.

Post by Elizabeth »

A bloke starts his new job at the zoo and is given three tasks. The first Is to clear the exotic fish pool of weeds.
As he does this a huge fish jumps out and bites him.

To show who is boss, he beats it to death with a spade. Realising his employer won't be best pleased he disposes of the fish by feeding it to the lions, as lions will eat anything.

Moving on to the second job of clearing out the chimp house, he is attacked by the chimps who pelt him with coconuts. He swipes at two chimps with a spade killing them both. What can he do?

Feed them to the lions, he says to himself, because lions eat anything. He hurls the corpses into the lion enclosure.

He moves on to the last job which is to collect honey from the South American bees. As soon as he starts, he is attacked by the bees. He grabs the spade and smashes the bees to a pulp.
By now he knows what to do and shovels them into the lions' cage because lions eat anything.

Later that day a new lion arrives at the zoo. He wanders up to another lion and says, "What's the food like here?"


The lions say: "Absolutely brilliant, today we had Fish and Chimps with Mushy Bees".

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Nifty
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Re: Jokes.

Post by Nifty »

Monsieur3seas wrote:
Sun Jun 14, 2020 9:38 am
ajm
I did not get it either....
That is what comes through flying with Virgin.

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