Jokes.

A place for some light-hearted chat.
OldSchool
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Re: Jokes.

Post by OldSchool »

Husband: Your cooking is really pathetic, despite you watching so many cooking shows!

Wife : You watch porn!!! No improvement!!! Did I ever complain?

OldSchool
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Re: Jokes.

Post by OldSchool »

A family was having dinner on Mother’s Day but the mother was unusually quiet. Finally, her husband asked what was wrong.

“Nothing,” said the woman.

Not believing her, he asked again. “No seriously, what’s wrong?”

Finally she said, “Do you really want to know? Well, I’ll tell you. I have cooked and cleaned and fed the kids for 15 years and on Mother’s Day, you don’t even tell me so much as ‘Thank you.'”

“Why should I?” he said. “Not once in 15 years have I had a Father’s Day gift.”

“Yes,” she said, “but I’m their real mother.”

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mysty
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Re: Jokes.

Post by mysty »

A snowman got stopped for speeding.
The polis said do you know what speed you were doing.
The snowman said no, some kids pinched my eyes.
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FrenchForumSurvivor
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Re: Jokes.

Post by FrenchForumSurvivor »

mysty wrote:
Wed Jun 10, 2020 9:04 pm
A snowman got stopped for speeding.
The polis said do you know what speed you were doing.
The snowman said no, some kids pinched my eyes.
Was he driving his snow-mobile?
"I am a man of fixed and unbending principles, the first of which is to be flexible at all times." - Everett Dirksen

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mysty
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Re: Jokes.

Post by mysty »

FrenchForumSurvivor wrote:
Wed Jun 10, 2020 9:17 pm
mysty wrote:
Wed Jun 10, 2020 9:04 pm
A snowman got stopped for speeding.
The polis said do you know what speed you were doing.
The snowman said no, some kids pinched my eyes.
Was he driving his snow-mobile?
Not sure if your being obtuse if that's the right spelling. :lol:

A snow mobile is what snowmen use to chit chat as they cannot use smart phones. :lol:
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Re: Jokes.

Post by Lemorvan »

My wife suggested spicing up our sex life by adding a little role play.

"I'll be a prostitute" she said excitedly.

"Good idea" I replied.
"I'll be Peter Sutcliffe"

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mysty
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Re: Jokes.

Post by mysty »

Lemorvan wrote:
Thu Jun 11, 2020 11:58 am
My wife suggested spicing up our sex life by adding a little role play.

"I'll be a prostitute" she said excitedly.

"Good idea" I replied.
"I'll be Peter Sutcliffe"
That's sick but I'm smiling.
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Re: Jokes.

Post by mysty »

How can you spot a snow woman dish washer.
She has no hands from the hot water :lol:
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Re: Jokes.

Post by mysty »

Content warning contains thing some may find offensive.

How can you tell when a certain percentage of female snow woman but not all are having a period.
They can be grumpy. :P
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Re: Jokes.

Post by Tom »

IMG_1098.JPG
“He who laughs last didn’t get the joke.”
– Charles de Gaulle

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