Jokes.

A place for some light-hearted chat.
OldSchool
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Re: Jokes.

Post by OldSchool »

A young man moved out from home and into a new apartment, all of his own, he went proudly down to the lobby to put his name on his mailbox.
While there, a stunning young lady came out of the apartment next to the mailboxes, wearing only a robe.
The boy smiled at the young woman and she started up a conversation with Him.
As they talked, her robe slipped open, and it was obvious that she had nothing else on.
The poor kid broke into a sweat trying to maintain eye contact.
After a few minutes, she placed her hand on his arm and said, ‘Let’s go to my apartment, I hear someone coming.’
He followed her into her apartment; she closed the door and leaned against it, allowing her robe to fall off completely.
Now nude, she purred at him, ‘What would you say is my best feature?’
Flustered and embarrassed, he finally squeaked, ‘It’s got to be your ears.’
Astounded, and a little hurt she asked, ‘My ears? Look at these breasts; they are a full 38 inches and 100% natural.
I work out every day and my ass is firm and solid. I have a 28 inch waist. Look at my skin – not a blemish anywhere.
How can you think that the best part of my body is my ears?’

Clearing his throat, he stammered… ‘Outside, when you said you heard someone coming… that was me!

niemeyjt
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Re: Jokes.

Post by niemeyjt »

Ally wrote:
Tue May 26, 2020 11:16 pm
I've an appointment at Specsavers first thing in the morning. I need a headlight bulb changed.
Nah - just pop down to Barnard Castle - best place for all opticians and tests

Lemorvan
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Re: Jokes.

Post by Lemorvan »

Who needs rhetorical questions.

Ally

Re: Jokes.

Post by Ally »

He's asking us?

ajm
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Re: Jokes.

Post by ajm »

Just realised the true meaning of Covid.
Cummings Organises Vacations In Durham. :lol: :lol:
If I had known I was going to live this long, I would have taken better care of myself. Mae West.

Ally

Re: Jokes.

Post by Ally »

I've had an offer of £150,000 for my house. The council will go mental but I'm accepting it.

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mysty
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Re: Jokes.

Post by mysty »

Did you here about the snowman who wanted to kill himself.
He booked 30 minutes on a sunbed. :lol:
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mysty
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Re: Jokes.

Post by mysty »

Covid19 is a killer for snowmen.
They get a temperature and melt.
(Apologies in advance)
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rabbit
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Re: Jokes.

Post by rabbit »

Mysty you posted this in the Jokes thread by mistake

Ally

Re: Jokes.

Post by Ally »

I was walking the dog this morning and a woman on a bike was staring at me. I shouted "COW!" She gave me the finger, then ran into the cow.

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