Jokes.

A place for some light-hearted chat.
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mysty
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Re: Jokes.

Post by mysty »

This man walks into gemo with his horse and says I'm looking for new shoes for my horse.
The assistant said we do not sell horse shoes just ones for young dogs, hush puppies. :lol:
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Re: Jokes.

Post by Tom »

IMG_1070.JPG
“He who laughs last didn’t get the joke.”
– Charles de Gaulle

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Re: Jokes.

Post by Nifty »

Strange looking bird sitting on my wire.
mysty wrote:
Sat May 09, 2020 6:24 pm
This man walks into gemo with his horse and says I'm looking for new shoes for my horse.
The assistant said we do not sell horse shoes just ones for young dogs, hush puppies. :lol:

Any more Snowman jokes please?

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Re: Jokes.

Post by mysty »

Nifty wrote:
Sat May 09, 2020 9:35 pm
Strange looking bird sitting on my wire.
mysty wrote:
Sat May 09, 2020 6:24 pm
This man walks into gemo with his horse and says I'm looking for new shoes for my horse.
The assistant said we do not sell horse shoes just ones for young dogs, hush puppies. :lol:

Any more Snowman jokes please?
If it makes you happy. :innocent:

What do you call a Ferrari driving snowman who never breaks the speed limit.

Cool :lol:
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Re: Jokes.

Post by mysty »

How do you spot a female snowman.

Snowballs
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Re: Jokes.

Post by curtis »

On a positive note, global warming will soon kill off these jokes.
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Re: Jokes.

Post by FrenchForumSurvivor »

Courtesy of Jean-Marie Bigard.

Une institutrice dit, "aujourd'hui, c'est calcul mentale - Toto, 12 bouteilles de vin à 20€ la bouteille, ça fait combien?"
Toto refléchit un moment, puis il dit, "chez nous, M'dame, ça fait trois jours."

Un enfant dit à sa mère, "Maman, c'est quoi l'humour noir?"
Elle lui répond, "Euh, je sais pas...tiens! Tu vois le monsieur là-bas sans bras? Va lui demander d'applaudir!"
L'enfant dit, "Mais Maman, je suis aveugle!"
Maman: "Et voilà, t'as compris l'humour noir!"
"I am a man of fixed and unbending principles, the first of which is to be flexible at all times." - Everett Dirksen

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Re: Jokes.

Post by wilbro »

Johnson was visiting a Glasgow primary school and the class was in the middle of a discussion about words and their meanings.
The teacher asked the prime minister if he would like to lead the discussion on the word 'Tragedy'.
So the prime minister asked the class if they could think of an example of a tragedy.
A little boy stood up and said, 'If my best friend is playing in the field and a tractor runs over him and kills him, that would be a tragedy.'
'Incorrect,' said Johnson, 'That would merely be an accident.'
A little girl stood up and said 'If a school bus carrying thirty children drove over a cliff, killing everybody inside, that would be a tragedy.'
'I'm afraid not', said Johnson, 'That's what we would call a great loss'.
The room went silent. No other kid volunteered. Johnson searched the room.
'Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?'
Finally, little Johnny raised his hand from the back of the class and said, 'If a plane carrying you and all the Tory M.P.s was hit by a missile and blown to smithereens, that would be a tragedy.'
'Fantastic!' exclaimed Johnson, 'And can you tell me why that would be a tragedy?'

'Well,' said little Johnny, 'It has to be a tragedy, because it certainly wouldn't be a great loss, and it probably wouldn't be a ****ing accident either'

Ally

Re: Jokes.

Post by Ally »

😂😂😂 I like that concept. Starting and finishing a joke with a punchline.

Ally

Re: Jokes.

Post by Ally »

I've just read in our local newspaper that a window cleaner has been jailed for 10 years for dealing drugs. I've been using him for donkey's ages and that's the first I knew he was a window cleaner.

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