Jokes.

A place for some light-hearted chat.
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ANOther
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Re: Jokes.

Post by ANOther »

just a Frenchie wrote:
Sat Mar 21, 2020 7:34 pm
ANOther wrote:
Sat Mar 21, 2020 7:32 pm
just a Frenchie wrote:
Sun Jan 26, 2020 8:15 am
Image
Is this who I think it is, G A?
Jacques Chirac (Président 1995 - 2007) :lol:
It was a serious question as if it's not who I think it is he's a tital doppelganger.

Further clue Lot Valley W of Cahors.
Brexit: ‘taking back’ what we had never lost in order to lose everything we had...

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DominicBest
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Re: Jokes.

Post by DominicBest »

B645DA26-9A8E-4D15-8BB7-84DE43EBBC9E.jpeg

curtis
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Re: Jokes.

Post by curtis »

Attention ! attention ! information importante

Pour lutter contre le coronavirus (COVID-19), mangez deux tranches de munster et une gousse d’ail à chaque repas.

Ça ne sert à rien mais ça tiendra les autres à distance.
Drive fast, attract the Police. Drive faster, attract sponsors.

michael86
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Re: Jokes.

Post by michael86 »

I went to the supermarket today and managed to grab the last few packs of toilet rolls, pasta and rice, together with anything else that looked useful. I went to the checkout with my trolley piled high. While I was waiting in the queue, a little old lady behind me said to me, " Isn't it getting terrible. I couldn't get any toilet rolls or the food I wanted. All I managed to get was this tin of spaghetti hoops and a kitchen roll."

I felt so sorry for her. I said, " If you've only got two items you can go in front of me if you like."

mauve2
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Re: Jokes.

Post by mauve2 »

Plane with 5 passengers on board, Donald Trump, Boris Johnson, Angela Merkel, The Pope and a ten year old school boy. The plane is about to crash and there are only 4 parachutes.

Trump said “I need one. I’m the smartest man in the USA and am needed to sort out the problems of the World!’, takes one and jumps.

Boris said ‘I’m needed to sort out Britain’. He takes one and jumps.

The Pope said ‘I need one as the world needs the Catholic Church.’ He takes one and jumps.

Angela said to the ten year old: "You can have the last parachute. I've lived my life, yours is only just starting."

The 10 year old replied: "Don’t worry, there are 2 parachutes left, the smartest man in the USA took my school bag."

After the Storm

Re: Jokes.

Post by After the Storm »

Should the UK hold a referendum on the #lockdown ?

51% majority would enough to stop it .

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just a Frenchie
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Re: Jokes.

Post by just a Frenchie »

A woman is going to give birth and she is in pain.
- My love, said her husband, I'm sorry, it's a bit of my fault if you suffer.
- No, don't worry, you have nothing to do with it ...
You learn from your mistakes but it's much quicker and cheaper to learn from the mistakes of other people ! :D

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just a Frenchie
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Re: Jokes.

Post by just a Frenchie »

A man meets one of his friends who seems concerned.
- Have you lost someone ?
- No it's even the opposite .. I'm going to be a father ....
- And is that why you seem sad ?
- Yes. I don't know how to tell my wife ...
You learn from your mistakes but it's much quicker and cheaper to learn from the mistakes of other people ! :D

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just a Frenchie
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Re: Jokes.

Post by just a Frenchie »

The teacher asks the class:
- What do you want to become when grown up ?
Little Bébert answers:
- I want to be a billionaire, go to the most beautiful clubs, find the most beautiful bitch, buy her a 1,000,000 € Ferrari, an apartment in Copacabana, a villa in Paris, a private jet for travelling all over the world, a limitless credit card and make love with her three times a day !
The teacher completely shocked by the vulgar response of Bébert, trying to recover the situation and pretending to ignore it asks:
- And you Julie?
- I don't mind being the slut of Bébert !
You learn from your mistakes but it's much quicker and cheaper to learn from the mistakes of other people ! :D

Lemorvan
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Re: Jokes.

Post by Lemorvan »

Q:Why did the snail buy a Ferrari with a giant S painted on the side?
A: Because for once in its life it wanted to be fast and for people to say “look at that S car go!”

Q: Why do the French eat snails?
A: They don’t like fast food.

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