Jokes.

A place for some light-hearted chat.
ajm
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Re: Jokes.

Post by ajm »

They say the old ones are the best so here goes:
I spent 2 hours defrosting the 'fridge last night……………. she called it foreplay :lol:
If I had known I was going to live this long, I would have taken better care of myself. Mae West.

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FrenchForumSurvivor
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Re: Jokes.

Post by FrenchForumSurvivor »

I often wonder what my parents did in the evenings before they had television. I asked my 27 brothers and sisters, but they didn't know either.
"I am a man of fixed and unbending principles, the first of which is to be flexible at all times." - Everett Dirksen

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jsks
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Re: Jokes.

Post by jsks »

FrenchForumSurvivor wrote:
Wed Jan 15, 2020 10:03 pm
I often wonder what my parents did in the evenings before they had television. I asked my 27 brothers and sisters, but they didn't know either.
It's 'cos your Mum was deaf.

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FrenchForumSurvivor
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Re: Jokes.

Post by FrenchForumSurvivor »

It's - you, of all people.
"I am a man of fixed and unbending principles, the first of which is to be flexible at all times." - Everett Dirksen

Ally

Re: Jokes.

Post by Ally »

I remember my family gathering round the piano on cold winter evenings. Unfortunately it only burned for 2 days.

I just made that one up Mysty.

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jsks
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Re: Jokes.

Post by jsks »

FrenchForumSurvivor wrote:
Wed Jan 15, 2020 10:06 pm
It's - you, of all people.
Corrected before you got there. But predictive text often throws up anomalies like that.

Ally

Re: Jokes.

Post by Ally »

Don't mention the lifebouy. I did earlier, but I got away with it.

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just a Frenchie
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Re: Jokes.

Post by just a Frenchie »

Mary Clancy goes up to Father O'Grady after his Sunday morning service, and she's in tears.

He says, 'So what's bothering you, Mary my dear?'

She says, 'Oh, Father, I've got terrible news. My husband passed away last night.'

The priest says, 'Oh, Mary, that's terrible. Tell me, Mary, did he have any last requests?'

She says, 'That he did, Father.'

The priest says, 'What did he ask, Mary?'

She says, 'He said, Please Mary, put down that gun down!'
You learn from your mistakes but it's much quicker and cheaper to learn from the mistakes of other people ! :D

curtis
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Re: Jokes.

Post by curtis »

MONOLOGUE D' UNE FEMME BOURREE

Une femme super élégante, blonde et belle sort d'un bar avec un degré d'alcoolémie très élevé .. une cuite phénoménale!!!

Marchant en titubant jusqu'à sa voiture une BMW d'une très grande valeur, elle essaye d'ouvrir la portière avec ses clés, > Son état ne lui permet pas de réussir à l'ouvrir à tel point qu'elle tombe assise par terre à côté de la portière de la voiture !!!
Jambes écartées et sans culotte, elle regarde en bas et la seule chose qu'elle voit, c'est sa minette et elle commence à lui parler...
- Grâce à toi j'ai une voiture, grâce à toi j'ai des bijoux, grâce à toi j'ai de l'argent, grâce à toi je peux avoir tous les hommes que je désire.....................

Tout à coup elle se met à pisser...
Elle lui dit :

Ne pleure pas putain !!!

Je ne suis pas en train de te gronder ...!!! On cause.
Drive fast, attract the Police. Drive faster, attract sponsors.

curtis
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Re: Jokes.

Post by curtis »

For those that like La Chasse !

La chasse à palombre

Drive fast, attract the Police. Drive faster, attract sponsors.

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