Jokes.

A place for some light-hearted chat.
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just a Frenchie
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Re: Jokes.

Post by just a Frenchie »

Materialism is buying things you don't need with money you don't have to impress people who don't care
You learn from your mistakes but it's much quicker and cheaper to learn from the mistakes of other people ! :D

Ally

Re: Jokes.

Post by Ally »

Walking past a pet shop I saw a cat in the window with a sign that said, 'Pedigree Netherlands cat for sale.'

I didn't believe it was from the Netherlands so I went into the shop and asked, "How Dutch is that moggie in the window?"

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Tom
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Re: Jokes.

Post by Tom »

"How Dutch is that moggie in the window?"
:lol: If there wasn't a taggly whale on sale with that moggie it must have been a fraud.
“The cow is of the bovine ilk;
One end is moo, the other milk."
—Ogden Nash

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rabbit
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Re: Jokes.

Post by rabbit »

Barman: We had that Spanish Bond Skyfall actor fella in here the other night. Orders a bottle of tequila and goes out of control. Dances on the tables, smashes up the juke box, pisses in the flower pots.

Punter: Javier Bardem?

Barman: No.. but if he does it again ..

curtis
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Re: Jokes.

Post by curtis »

A young Law student, having failed his Law exam, goes up to his crusty old professor, who is renowned for his razor-sharp legal mind.

Student: "Sir, do you really understand everything about this subject?"

Professor: "Actually, I probably do. Otherwise I wouldn't be a professor, would I?"

Student: "OK. So I’d like to ask you a question. If you can give me the correct answer, I will accept my marks as it is. If you can't give me the correct answer, however, you'll have to give me an "A".

Professor: "Hmmmm, alright. So what’s the question?"

Student: "What is legal but not logical, logical but not legal, and neither logical nor legal?”

The professor wracks his famous brain, but just can't crack the answer. Finally he gives up and changes the student's failing mark into an "A" as agreed, and the student goes away, very pleased.

The professor continues to wrack his brain over the question all afternoon, but still can’t get the answer. So finally he calls in a group of his brightest students and tells them he has a really, really tough question to answer: "What is legal but not logical, logical but not legal, and neither logical nor legal?”

To the professor's surprise (and embarrassment), all the students immediately raise their hands.

"All right" says the professor and asks his favourite student to answer

"It's quite easy, sir" says the student "You see, you are 75 years old and married to a 30 year old woman, which is legal, but not logical. Your wife has a 22 year old lover, which is logical, but not legal. And your wife's lover failed his exam but you've just given him an "A", which is neither legal, nor logical."
Drive fast, attract the Police. Drive faster, attract sponsors.

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DominicBest
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Re: Jokes.

Post by DominicBest »

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Nifty
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Re: Jokes.

Post by Nifty »

and hippopotami are schizophrenic

Ally

Re: Jokes.

Post by Ally »

I bought an alcoholic ginger beer in the bar today. The ungrateful git threw it over me.

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mysty
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Re: Jokes.

Post by mysty »

Why do so many ex police come to France.

If they went to Spain they would end up behind bars. :lol:
mysty1 the new up to date user friendly version for an enhanced user experience

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Nifty
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Re: Jokes.

Post by Nifty »

I have a step ladder but never knew my real ladder.

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