Jokes.

[Ally]

That was funny but the one before that was dire if you had been getting paid for jokes you would have lost your job

If I was getting paid for my jokes the cheques have been going to the wrong address.

[Ally]

Anyway I've been trying to get in touch with my feminine side today. Hit the door mirror on the gatepost, burnt the dinner then sat and sulked all night.

[mysty]

Sally left a note on the fridge, "It's not working. I can't take it anymore, I'm going to my mums house!"

I opened the fridge, the light came on, the beer was cold. What is she talking about?

Sally was at her mums and said its no working, her ma she said your wrong just spoke with him there is nothing wrong with the fridge. sally says i canna take it.

[Ally]

That panaché is blinding stuff, isn't it?

I think he had two bottles last night.

[mysty]

I actually had a tiny glass of brandy which was vile but after the first couple of sips the taste buds were numbed. It was bought from Lidils but you could probably run a car on it.

[Ally]

I actually had a tiny glass of brandy which was vile but after the first couple of sips the taste buds were numbed. It was bought from Lidils but you could probably run a car on it.

I couldn't have a drink. I had to drive over to MiL's. Sally called said she was having an orgasm every time she sneezed and could I bring the black pepper. Sally, no the MiL.

[Ally]

Spent this evening putting my head between my knees and leaning forward. That's how I roll at the weekend.

[Andy72]

How many Brexiters does it take to change a light bulb? Two, one to claim everything will be brighter and the other to screw it up.

[Archy]

How many Brexiters does it take to change a light bulb? Two, one to claim everything will be brighter and the other to screw it up.

and if's it not screwed it will be bayoneted

[Ally]

My grandfather was bayonetted in the war. He was pronounced dead on a rifle.