Jokes.

A place for some light-hearted chat.
TriciaF
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Re: Jokes.

Post by TriciaF »

After a sermon in a place of worship on the wiles of Satan, his red face, his pitchfork , his horns etc the congregants are terrified when the Satan appears in a cloud of smoke.
Everyone rushes out in terror. Except for one man who sits there calmly.
The Satan asks him"Aren't you afraid of me?"
"No" the man says. "I'm married to your sister."

Joinfrance
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Re: Jokes.

Post by Joinfrance »

Old school. I’m getting a bit sick of all the adverse ‘jokes’ about Liverpool.

Lemorvan
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Re: Jokes.

Post by Lemorvan »

Mysty said he hasn't seen or heard any adverts about Liverpool jokes.

Ally

Re: Jokes.

Post by Ally »

Sally said to me, "You weren't even listening, were you?"
I thought, "What a funny way to start a conversation."

Elizabeth
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Re: Jokes.

Post by Elizabeth »

Joinfrance wrote:
Fri Sep 27, 2019 5:44 pm
Old school. I’m getting a bit sick of all the adverse ‘jokes’ about Liverpool.

But you could say that about jokes about women,blondes,religion etc etc and it would end up with no humour at all. The majority of Liverpudlians that I know have brilliant senses of humour and frequently laugh at themselves

ajm
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Re: Jokes.

Post by ajm »

Years ago I was at a dinner and we had a comedian from Liverpool. He said every body thinks that we Liverpudlians have nothing. Let me tell you I came here this evening in a brand new Mercedes and, if it's still in the car park when I leave, I will take the new Jaguar. :D :D
"If I had known I was going to live this long, I would have taken better care of myself."Mae West.

curtis
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Re: Jokes.

Post by curtis »

This one involves a blonde and an animal so here goes.....................

Le propriétaire d'un cirque a passé une annonce pour trouver un dompteur de lion .

Deux personnes se présentent : un homme de bonne présentation, retraité, de plus de 70 ans, et une blonde de 25 ans.

Le patron du cirque reçoit les deux candidats et leur dit : "Je n'irai pas par quatre chemins :

Mon lion est très fort et a tué mes deux derniers dompteurs.

Ou vous êtes très bon ou ça ne durera pas une minute !

Voici l'équipement : le banc, le fouet et le pistolet .

"Qui veut commencer ?"

La blonde dit :"moi j'y vais."

Elle fait fi de l'équipement, du fouet, du pistolet, et entre rapidement dans la cage.

Le lion rugit et court jusqu'à la blonde.

Quand il arrive à moins d'un mètre, elle commence à se déshabiller et reste complètement nue, montrant son corps superbe.

Le lion s'arrête immédiatement !

Il se couche devant elle et lui lèche les pieds.
Petit à petit, il se relève et lui lèche tout le corps pendant un long moment !

Tout y passe, les cuisses, les fesses, les seins, le cou, la nuque, etc.

Le patron du cirque n'en revient pas et dit :

"Je n'ai jamais vu ça de toute ma vie !"

Il se tourne vers le retraité et lui demande :

"Est-ce que vous pouvez en faire autant monsieur?"

Et l'homme lui répond :

Bien sûr... mais d'abord, sortez le lion!
Drive fast, attract the Police. Drive faster, attract sponsors.

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rabbit
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Re: Jokes.

Post by rabbit »

Elizabeth wrote:
Tue Oct 01, 2019 12:06 pm
Joinfrance wrote:
Fri Sep 27, 2019 5:44 pm
Old school. I’m getting a bit sick of all the adverse ‘jokes’ about Liverpool.

But you could say that about jokes about women,blondes,religion etc etc and it would end up with no humour at all. The majority of Liverpudlians that I know have brilliant senses of humour and frequently laugh at themselves
Yes like Ester McVey

Elizabeth
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Re: Jokes.

Post by Elizabeth »

I don’t know Esther McVey
Do we have to bring everything back to Brexit, the evil Tories etc

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DominicBest
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Re: Jokes.

Post by DominicBest »

Liverpool? I thought the funny farm was in Manchester this week.

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