Jokes.

A place for some light-hearted chat.
Ally

Re: Jokes.

Post by Ally »

Q. Why shouldn't you wear Russian y-fronts?
A. Because Chernobyl fallout.

Lemorvan
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Re: Jokes.

Post by Lemorvan »

The Asterisk cartoon character, Asterisk, I wonder how rude is his real name?

OldSchool
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Re: Jokes.

Post by OldSchool »

Hi chaps...all the years I spent bleeding brakes and clutches by sucking it through a bit of washer pipe has given me an addiction to brake fluid!
But don't worry i can stop anytime I want

OldSchool
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Re: Jokes.

Post by OldSchool »

I've deleted all German names from my phone...it's now Hans free!

OldSchool
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Re: Jokes.

Post by OldSchool »

FOR SALE BY OWNER.

Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica, 45 volumes.
Excellent condition, £200 or best offer.

No longer needed, got married, wife knows everything.

OldSchool
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Re: Jokes.

Post by OldSchool »

After both suffering from depression for a while, me and the missus
decided to commit suicide together yesterday.

Funnily enough, however once she killed herself I started to feel a
lot better. So I thought - sod it, I'll soldier on.

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Re: Jokes.

Post by OldSchool »

My daughter asked me for a pet spider for her birthday, so I went to our
Local pet shop and they were £70!!!

Blow this, I thought, I can get one cheaper off the web.

OldSchool
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Re: Jokes.

Post by OldSchool »

Two female teachers took a group of students from grades 1, 2 and 3 for a field trip to York Racecourse.

When it was time to take the children to the bathroom, it was decided that the girls would go with one teacher and the boys would go with the other.

The teacher assigned to the boys was waiting outside the men's toilet when one of the boys came out and told her that none of them could reach the urinal.

Having no choice, she went inside, helped the little boys with their pants and began hoisting them up one by one, holding on to their willies to direct the flow away from their clothes and shake them dry.

As she lifted one boy up, she couldn't help but notice that he was unusually well endowed. Trying not to show that she was staring at his equipment the teacher said, 'You must be in Class 3?'


'No ma'am', he replied. 'I'm riding Black Caviar in the next race, but I really appreciate your help.’

OldSchool
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Re: Jokes.

Post by OldSchool »

Hi chaps...There I was ,out with my mate Mick Jagger in his rolls royce one day and decided to stop at a roadside burger van.....what do you want Mick I asked.....ummm....can I have a slice of granite in a bun please....I said ..That sounds a bit hard Mick...and he replied..'It's only rock in a roll but I like it, like it'

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JohnnyD
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Re: Jokes.

Post by JohnnyD »

Julia Hartley-Sewer 🤣

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