Search found 100 matches

by OldSchool
Thu Jan 07, 2021 2:34 pm
Forum: The Café
Topic: Jokes.
Replies: 2087
Views: 86647

Re: Jokes.

Didn't the "real thing" contain cocaine? Pre 1900, yes. About the same time that the British Empire had to stop the opium trade. My Father was in the Navy 1939 to 1946, he told me years ago that Coca Cola did then contain a small amount of Cannabis/Cocaine which combined with a few aspirin did get ...
by OldSchool
Fri Aug 14, 2020 5:58 pm
Forum: The Café
Topic: What are you doing today?
Replies: 5892
Views: 183491

Re: What are you doing today?

Today I've spent several hour reorganizing our holiday plans for early October! We were going to come to France (Nice) and spend a fortnight travelling around Southern France with several nights in various places. Not anymore though, but on the bright side the alternative in sunnier climes has actua...
by OldSchool
Mon Aug 10, 2020 4:11 pm
Forum: The Café
Topic: Jokes.
Replies: 2087
Views: 86647

Re: Jokes.

“So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up, and he said 'You've been promoted.' I swerved. Then he rang up a second time and said "You've been promoted again.' And I swerved again. He rang up a third time and said 'You're the managing director.' And I went into a tree. A polic...
by OldSchool
Mon Aug 10, 2020 4:07 pm
Forum: The Café
Topic: Jokes.
Replies: 2087
Views: 86647

Re: Jokes.

"So I rang up my local swimming baths.
I said 'Is that the local swimming baths?'
He said 'It depends where you're calling from.'"
by OldSchool
Mon Aug 10, 2020 4:05 pm
Forum: The Café
Topic: Jokes.
Replies: 2087
Views: 86647

Re: Jokes.

"So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me "Can you give me a lift?"
I said "Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it."
by OldSchool
Mon Aug 10, 2020 4:04 pm
Forum: The Café
Topic: Jokes.
Replies: 2087
Views: 86647

Re: Jokes.

And the back of his anorak was leaping up and down, and people were chucking money to him.
I said 'Do you earn a living doing that?'
He said 'Yes, this is my livelihood.'
by OldSchool
Mon Aug 10, 2020 4:03 pm
Forum: The Café
Topic: Jokes.
Replies: 2087
Views: 86647

Re: Jokes.

He said 'I'm going to chop off the bottom of one of your trouser legs and put it in a library.'
I thought 'That's a turn-up for the books."
by OldSchool
Mon Aug 10, 2020 4:02 pm
Forum: The Café
Topic: Jokes.
Replies: 2087
Views: 86647

Re: Jokes.

A couple was having dinner at a fancy restaurant. As the food was served, the husband
said, "the food looks delicious, let's eat."

Wife : Dear, you say prayer before eating at home.
Husband : That's at home ... here the chef knows how to cook.
by OldSchool
Fri Aug 07, 2020 5:37 pm
Forum: The Café
Topic: Jokes.
Replies: 2087
Views: 86647

Re: Jokes.

I truly believe we need some humour back on here, even if (God I hope Not) Snowmen Jokes :oops:
by OldSchool
Wed Jun 10, 2020 12:06 pm
Forum: The Café
Topic: Jokes.
Replies: 2087
Views: 86647

Re: Jokes.

A family was having dinner on Mother’s Day but the mother was unusually quiet. Finally, her husband asked what was wrong. “Nothing,” said the woman. Not believing her, he asked again. “No seriously, what’s wrong?” Finally she said, “Do you really want to know? Well, I’ll tell you. I have cooked and ...